Why is editing so hard? Why does everything seem to suck? How come everything felt so right the first time and now it doesn't?
I've asked around and it seems I'm not alone. Published as well as not are saying the same thing. As a not published I was hoping someone would say it got better. No such luck. The worst bit is I don't want to read the bloody thing again. No choice. If I want it out there on the shop shelf it's got to be edited, polished, primped and pruned. Grrrr....
I've got to the point where I don't want to get published with these 70,000 words, it's just too hard. When do you give up and start again? When do you cut your loses and move on? The answer is simple, you don't. Not if you want it. The hardest part about this is perseverance and practise and patience. I'm thinking stubbornness myself. So taking a breather should help but I want it now! Damn that patience fairy, she forgot to visit.
Okay, enough ranting and raving and back to the book. I'm really beginning to hate the thing. I guess that's just the way it'll be. I suppose if I hate it and I send it off and it gets a rejection letter I won't care. Ha! Of course I'll care. That's why I'm doing this to myself.
You know all those times I thought I might be insane having all these people living in my head might not have been far from the truth. Surely putting myself through this and then waiting for someone to tell my it stinks is insanity? Then again, having someone tell me it's great let's put it in print wouldn't be insane. Well, it would be insane, insanely great.
Okay, it's official, I'm going mad.
I'll leave you with something John F Kennedy said.
We should not let our fears hold us back from pursuing our hopes.